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These ways of life are so named because they are other ways of living.  Included is Swinging, homosexuality, which includes gay men and gay women (lesbians), and bisexuality.  Occasionally gays will think that the term is derogatory.  It is not meant to be in this sense.  I apologize if it's taken this way.  No offense is meant.

What all of the lifestyles have in common, is that because for one reason or another, they're not socially acceptable, it is often very difficult to meet other people.

This is because unless one is "out", it is uncomfortable to make public ovations toward other people.  Because of this, other non typical methods are necessary when it comes to meeting other people.

Another major difference applies to gay men, swingers, bisexuals, and to a much lesser extent to lesbians.  This difference is in the relative promiscuity to the rest of the population.  Consequently it is difficult to rely on traditional methods, such as family, friends, church, etc.

The old adage "You get what you pay for", really applies here.  There is no "free lunch".

You will have to pay for something in some way.  It may be that you're deluged with banner advertising, or pop-up windows.  Or  the complimentary aspect, may be merely a "come on".  Somewhere along the line, you will probably be asked for money.  And this only makes sense.  The internet isn't free, so why would we expect the ads to be.

Actually the classified personals are an excellent value.  People pay quite a bit for swingers magazines.  What they get is static and unchanging.  With a computerized version of the same magazine, you get a dynamic listing.  With the better systems you get updates as soon as new entries are made.  Many have pictures attached to the ads, which are usually of much better quality than the magazines.

The good ones offer you protection for your naked pictures from copying.  It's much safer than mailing your pics all over the internet and consequently the world.  Who knows where they will end up?

The easiest place to find it is in the swinging lifestyle.  The reason is that everyone is looking for Group Sex in this arena.  It's what they come for.  In fact you can actually see and participate in an orgy.  Orgies are actually common.  The first time I saw a group of people having sex together, I could hardly believe my eyes.  There, in the orgy room was a sea of writhing bodies, right in front of me.  I have never seen so many people in so much ecstasy.  It seemed like every one was either connected by some part of their body or another.

It was surprising how few of the people were wearing condoms.  But apparently people feel safer with other couples that other than swinging are monogamous.  They feel that the people are safe because it's a closed circle of people.

A dream come true.  They are just so darned efficient.  Why should you go to bars?  Why should you try to meet people at work? (You know what they say about that.)  What you should be doing is fishing in a barrel, and that's exactly what this is.  It use to be that people would go the magazine route to use the classifieds.  The problem was the huge delay.  You had to deal with short closing dates and far off publishing dates.  In other words:  You had to rush to get your ad in.  Then you had to wait a couple of months for it to be published.

The biggest inconvenience of all, though, was that if someone responded to your ad, they sent it to the magazine.  The magazine then placed the response in the SASE (Self Addressed Stamped envelope) that you provided and actually mailed it to you.

Many people ask about the arousal factor with men, in swinging.  How do you avoid getting a hard-on with all those beautiful naked people around.  The answer is similar to what people tell you about a nude beach.  You get use to it.  The nudity although stimulating, becomes a secondary issue, compared to everything else that is going on.

Back to the beautiful people.  They're not all beautiful.  Some are.  But the people you will meet and be with are a slice of society.  They are all ages, all shapes, sizes, colors, and nationalities. It's wonderful to see all these people coming together to enjoy their sexuality.

Here we have a media that is very specific to people that want to get "physical" very quickly.  There is no "beating around the bush", here  (No Pun intended - lol).  For this reason, it's important to that everyone has reasonable expectations.  Without this, failure is nearly certain.  There is such a large range of desires and wants within human fantasy that there is an equally large range of expectations.  When you add the component of everyone moving at their own pace, it really complicates the situation. What can be done about this?  The most important aspect of this lifestyle is communication.  Communication with each other, if you're a couple and communication with the person or people you are trying to meet.  After all, how can you possibly expect to have expectations match up, without effective communication.  The answer is that it is impossible to make an effective match, without quality communication, without the biggest coincidence in history.

Found all over the world.  We are talking about some of the most open minded people you will ever meet.  They are also extremely considerate, comfortable people to be with.  Of course they have been thoroughly indoctrinated with the Golden Rule of Swinging, which is "No is No".  In other words no one should ever be asked to do something more than once.  This takes the pressure off.  It gives everyone, especially the women, an extra layer of security and comfort.  The phrase can be used to stop a verbal or physical advance.  Everyone honors it.  The fastest way to get kicked out of a club is by ignoring this rule.

Again, consideration abounds in this lifestyle.  For example you could be in a crowded room full of naked people.  No one would even brush into another person without apologizing.

You have to take your hat off to these people.  It is really challenging to pull "it" off.  Think about it.  Think about how hard it is to meet another person that you want to invest time with and have sex with.  We're looking at two completely distinct individuals, with two completely separate sets of wants and desires.

Now take a look at what is involved when two couples are involved.  Consider all the factors:

1. Because of the challenge of swinging the opportunity for jealousy and tension within each respective relationship is exaggerated.

2. Unfortunately this lifestyle is an endeavor outside what is considered socially acceptable.  This ads tension.

3. Not only is there the dynamic between the individuals, but each person has to accept two other people.  You have guy 1 and girl 1, guy 1 and girl 2, guy 1 and girl 2, guy 1 and guy 2, girl 1 and guy 2, girl 1 and girl 2, guy 2 and girl 2, and finally everyone interacting as a group.

It is now wonder that it is some times challenging to make this all come together.

This refers to so many different concepts.  Different people consider swinging differently.  Some like to just be around other people that have an open sexual orientation.  Other People like to have sex in the same room, with no physical contact.  Others may want to be in the same bed, but still with no physical contact.  Some couples will hop into the same bed, however, will stick pretty much to the same partner, with just the occasional touch.  Other couples enjoy actually having sexual contact with the other person's partner.  This could include oral, anal, intercourse, etc.  The concepts we've discussed so far, would be considered soft swinging.  Although, some consider any swinging without full penetration or intercourse or fucking, to be soft swinging.

Hard swinging would consist of actually having full sex with the other person's partner.  There is still though, a full continuum within the hard swinging category.  Some couples stay in the same bed, others the same room, and others completely separate for the evening.